Many have asked if I'm happy that I went through with the surgery and if I've noticed any changes yet...
To simply answer the question above without going into details, the answer would be yes.
While I was in the hospital they had the pain medication hooked up through my IV, I press the button and relief would be on it's way shortly. There was a time limit so I couldn't push the button a bunch of times but I could every X minutes if needed. Just because I had a lot of time on my hands, I imagined that my issues with hormones were being controlled or driven by someone else. Like I had an IV line hooked to a bag of hormones but I wasn't the one controlling the button. Nor did the button have a limit on it. Some days the button controller wouldn't push the button at all, other days the button pusher was like my toddler, hitting the button over and over and over until I snapped. Within a day or two of the surgery I honestly felt like that IV line of hormones had been removed. The out of control feeling is gone. I feel like I am in more control of my emotions, my life. It is really hard to explain but it feels like the sharp edge has been filed down, it's smoother, easier to cross.
Another immediate effect that the surgery had made me chuckle a bit and it may or may not be because I had my lovely lady parts removed but I'd like to think that it was. The week leading up to the surgery my breasts were tender. Not just a little bit but a LOT tender. I even went and bought new sports bras hoping that the doctors would let me wear one into and during surgery because they hurt so bad. Once out of surgery and coherent enough to think a bit I remember bumping my breasts with my arm and out of habit I flinched thinking that it was going to hurt. I realized that it didn't! They didn't hurt anymore, the tenderness and pain were gone, completely gone. They have not been tender or sore since the surgery either.
As time goes on, as I finish healing and my body adjusts I am sure that I will notice even more benefits of having the surgery. Okay and the idea of never having to visit the feminine products isle again is intoxicating!!
Other recovery tidbits and stuff that my brain has been mulling during recovery...
I have been given a stool softener/laxative to take if necessary to keep things moving so to speak. Luckily, with my lack of appetite and low fiber diet this really hasn't been an issue and I only had to take the nasty stuff the first day or two. It's like corn syrup consistency but tastes yucky. Anyway, there is a statement on the bottle that reads, "For oral or rectal administration." This statement really strikes me as odd and maybe even a bit disturbing. I just laugh at it instead.
I expected a lot more post operation bleeding. I don't know why I did, maybe it was the constant reminders from doctors and nurses that if I soaked a pad within an hour that I needed to see my doctor that did it. Needless to say, I have had little to no bleeding. I bled more, regularly, on a non-period day before surgery than I have the entire time following surgery.
I am healing and feeling better faster than I expected. I have done a good job of taking it easy, napping when tired, etc. and that may be a big part of it. I am walking well and coughing, sneezing and laughing no longer hurt. Any swelling I had is gone and am feeling normal down there. Don't get me wrong, I still feel like I've had surgery but it's not painful at all. I was hurting a lot longer after having my boys than I am now. Like I've said before, though, this is the time that I REALLY need to pay attention and not over do things. I do get a little achy at night but that's about it. I only took pain medications (mostly Tylenol) for the first three days, been off it ever since.
Remember me talking about how I could not get enough ice? My glasses of water were more like glasses of ice with a touch of water. I worked our ice maker harder than any ice maker should have to work. I noticed right away and Joel even noticed that my ice crunching has almost completely stopped. I will still chew on a piece or two if they are in my glass, I always have, but it's not glasses of ice all day long anymore. I even left some in a cup last night and that would NOT have happened before the surgery.
Temperature...before the surgery, and we are realizing it even more now, I was hot at night. I wouldn't say hot flash kind of hot but definitely warm. Joel and I were talking the night before last about how that has changed now. Over the last 6-12 months I have been a little heater in bed. Joel couldn't even snuggle up without getting too warm himself and when he did, it would just drive me to throw the covers off and move away. I also would sleep a lot with my feet/legs out of the covers, just too hot to keep them under there. Since the surgery, I've gone back to, what I would say are, my normal body temperatures. I don't wake up too hot or sweaty, Joel can snuggle up and my bare feet make Joel jump when I touch him with them. =) Even though I am running a bit on the cold side now, it has been nice.
Have any of you ever bought or used the ThermaCare Heat Wraps? These things rock! I'm glad I didn't buy/use them before my surgery because I would have spent a lot of money on them during my really bad cramping days. They have one specifically designed for menstrual cramp relief and they stay warm for up to 8 hours. This one actually has a sticky back that you can adhere to your undies. I've used a couple of these during my recovery and it was awesome. The constant warmth on my abdomen was comforting and relaxing. My three pack, on sale, was $5.99.
I know that I had/have more to share but can't think of them right now. I will keep a notepad and pen/pencil close today and tomorrow to make notes for the next post.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
On The Road Again
Honestly, the title to my post was simply going to be, "Road to Recovery," but that reminded me of the Willie Nelson song that has now been stuck in my head for far too long!! Everyone sing with me now, "On the road again. Just can't wait to get on the road again..." Sorry about that.
Last Friday I finally got my walking papers and was able to go home. The hospital, in its typical fashion, would not let me walk out but instead wheeled me out. However, I totally cracked up when we got down to the curb. Joel had run out to grab the car and left me with the nurse. Apparently once you hit the curb you are no longer hospital property. In her kindest voice she said, "You can wait on the bench, I saw you walking around earlier," and kicked me out of the chair. Luckily, I found it to be quite humorous. Joel quickly picked me up and we drove over to the pharmacy for my medications, to Burgerville for Joel's dinner and then home.
Both boys were spending the night with someone Friday night and I have to say that it was a blessing. It was nice to be able to come home to peace and quiet and to find my comfortable spot or two without any interruptions. As much as I enjoyed having nurses answer every call and tend to my every need it was incredibly nice to be home! Joel, all worried and concerned, doted on me and made sure I was well taken care of. He too was glad to be home and have me here with him.
I've been resting and recuperating quite nicely. Actually, I am feeling a lot better than I had expected. The first day (Saturday) I was extremely achy and had a mild dull pain but controlled it well with Tylenol throughout the day. Each day after that I have been getting progressively better. As a matter of fact, I haven't needed/wanted Tylenol at all today. The first couple of nights home I took the prescribed pain medication they gave me just before bed just to make sure that I could rest well and comfortably. I switched to Tylenol last night and will probably do that again tonight. I am still a little achy but for the most part but feeling really well. This is the time that I really need to focus on taking care of myself. This is when I would normally push myself and try to do more than I should. I've promised myself, my husband and many others that I will give my body a chance to recover completely though so don't worry. Plus who can argue with not vacuuming or mopping for 6 weeks? Seriously, why pass that up?
One thing that I have noticed is that I tire easily, to be expected after surgery I'm sure. I got up Sunday morning around 7:30, I thought I had been up for much longer and was shocked to find it only 9:30 when I headed in for a long nap. I've been listening to my body, taking the clues and taking lots of naps.
I've been instructed to keep my diet very simple, low fiber, low bulk, etc. Turns out that hasn't been hard for me at all. I'm am struggling to get my appetite back. I can barely get down a banana and a couple sips of coffee before I'm done. I am still easy to tip to the nauseous side of things and am finding few things appealing. Water, bananas, juice, baked potatoes (sweet and regular), butternut squash, chicken broth/soup have been my main staples. I tried some yogurt and that did not settle well at all which really surprised me. I did have a little bit of macaroni and cheese yesterday, it sounded good so I went with it, and that went down pretty good. I have lost just over 10 pounds since Wednesday of last week. I'd like to think that will stay off when I get my appetite back but I'm not counting on it. =)
The rain has been pretty steady and crazy since I got home so to get out and walk someplace other than my house, Joel took me to Fred Meyers yesterday and let me walk a bit there. We went and picked up a couple of donuts and a latte today. Amazing what a quick trip out can do for your spirits! I do pace the house frequently to get my walking in and have made a couple of trips to the mail box too.
So, in keeping with doctors orders, I've been resting and walking. I'm starting to get a little bit bored but I've had some fun with scanning and uploading old pictures to my facebook page, I have some books that I've been meaning to read, I bought a puzzle book at the store yesterday and many other things that I can focus on. I also have a couple of stitching projects waiting for me at Joel's work that I can't wait to get my hands on.
Many have asked if I'm happy that I went through with the surgery and if I've noticed any changes yet...I'll answer that in my next post. Any other questions out there? If you have any hospital/surgery questions, be sure to ask me now while it's fresh in my mind!
Last Friday I finally got my walking papers and was able to go home. The hospital, in its typical fashion, would not let me walk out but instead wheeled me out. However, I totally cracked up when we got down to the curb. Joel had run out to grab the car and left me with the nurse. Apparently once you hit the curb you are no longer hospital property. In her kindest voice she said, "You can wait on the bench, I saw you walking around earlier," and kicked me out of the chair. Luckily, I found it to be quite humorous. Joel quickly picked me up and we drove over to the pharmacy for my medications, to Burgerville for Joel's dinner and then home.
Both boys were spending the night with someone Friday night and I have to say that it was a blessing. It was nice to be able to come home to peace and quiet and to find my comfortable spot or two without any interruptions. As much as I enjoyed having nurses answer every call and tend to my every need it was incredibly nice to be home! Joel, all worried and concerned, doted on me and made sure I was well taken care of. He too was glad to be home and have me here with him.
I've been resting and recuperating quite nicely. Actually, I am feeling a lot better than I had expected. The first day (Saturday) I was extremely achy and had a mild dull pain but controlled it well with Tylenol throughout the day. Each day after that I have been getting progressively better. As a matter of fact, I haven't needed/wanted Tylenol at all today. The first couple of nights home I took the prescribed pain medication they gave me just before bed just to make sure that I could rest well and comfortably. I switched to Tylenol last night and will probably do that again tonight. I am still a little achy but for the most part but feeling really well. This is the time that I really need to focus on taking care of myself. This is when I would normally push myself and try to do more than I should. I've promised myself, my husband and many others that I will give my body a chance to recover completely though so don't worry. Plus who can argue with not vacuuming or mopping for 6 weeks? Seriously, why pass that up?
One thing that I have noticed is that I tire easily, to be expected after surgery I'm sure. I got up Sunday morning around 7:30, I thought I had been up for much longer and was shocked to find it only 9:30 when I headed in for a long nap. I've been listening to my body, taking the clues and taking lots of naps.
I've been instructed to keep my diet very simple, low fiber, low bulk, etc. Turns out that hasn't been hard for me at all. I'm am struggling to get my appetite back. I can barely get down a banana and a couple sips of coffee before I'm done. I am still easy to tip to the nauseous side of things and am finding few things appealing. Water, bananas, juice, baked potatoes (sweet and regular), butternut squash, chicken broth/soup have been my main staples. I tried some yogurt and that did not settle well at all which really surprised me. I did have a little bit of macaroni and cheese yesterday, it sounded good so I went with it, and that went down pretty good. I have lost just over 10 pounds since Wednesday of last week. I'd like to think that will stay off when I get my appetite back but I'm not counting on it. =)
The rain has been pretty steady and crazy since I got home so to get out and walk someplace other than my house, Joel took me to Fred Meyers yesterday and let me walk a bit there. We went and picked up a couple of donuts and a latte today. Amazing what a quick trip out can do for your spirits! I do pace the house frequently to get my walking in and have made a couple of trips to the mail box too.
So, in keeping with doctors orders, I've been resting and walking. I'm starting to get a little bit bored but I've had some fun with scanning and uploading old pictures to my facebook page, I have some books that I've been meaning to read, I bought a puzzle book at the store yesterday and many other things that I can focus on. I also have a couple of stitching projects waiting for me at Joel's work that I can't wait to get my hands on.
Many have asked if I'm happy that I went through with the surgery and if I've noticed any changes yet...I'll answer that in my next post. Any other questions out there? If you have any hospital/surgery questions, be sure to ask me now while it's fresh in my mind!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Surgery Recall Part 2
I just want to take a couple of minutes and talk about SW Washington Medical Center. I had a great experience, all things considered, at this hospital. They were all very professional, very proficient and everything was efficiently run. They had procedures that they told us about then followed them to the letter, they always told you exactly what they were doing or going to do, when they were going to do and then did it. I was tracked, so to speak, on many different levels including a bar code that was assigned to me/on my bracelet. I got that bracelet as soon as I talked to the lady at the check-in desk! It was scanned before anything was done or any medication given. All of my nurses were good but I totally scored with the two I had starting at 7am on Friday - those two gals were the bomb! Anyway, I've heard stories of bad experiences in hospitals and wanted to let you all know that my experience was excellent!
So after the anesthesia wore off Friday night my next goal was to get home. I had a checklist of requirements to meet and that was what I focused on all day Friday. Joel too for that matter, each time I got another requirement done he reminded me that another was checked off the list. The list included removal of packing put in place during surgery, removal of catheter, going to the bathroom on my own and emptying my bladder, eating a little bit and keeping it down, able to control the pain via pills (wean me off of the IV pain medication), able to keep fluids going into me (drinking lots of water, juice, etc. to wean me off of the IV fluids) and able to be up and walking.
When I came out of surgery, I had a bunch of vaginal packing and a catheter. Around lunchtime on Friday, my doctor came in, removed the packing then the nurses came in and removed the catheter. My doctor decided to do a back fill of my bladder then I had 15 minutes to use the restroom. She wanted 300 cc's in and 300 cc's out. That way she could be sure that I was emptying my bladder. I guess during surgery if the bladder is bumped at all it can show it's unhappiness about that by not emptying completely. As I'm sure you can figure out on your own, this is not a good thing and can quickly lead to infection. Before the catheter was completely removed the nurses back filled my bladder with a sterile saline solution but instead of the full 300, at the 200 mark I asked them to stop. I felt full and knew that I could go and did as soon as I could get up out of bed. Problem was, my bladder wasn't empty to begin with...they put in 200 and I put out 550! So they went with plan B, after my next trip to the bathroom they did a bladder scan (looked like a mini ultrasound machine) to check for any fluid and there was none! Woohoo! By this time I had already eaten some food, drank lots of fluid, had the IV removed so my only task left to do was get up and walk around.
Joel had to leave for a while to go home and get Noah off of the bus and off to his destination for the night. Plus the poor guy had to have been bored to no end sitting by my bed. I am sure it was nice to just get out for a while and grab a bite to eat or whatever. For almost my entire stay at the hospital I had a room to myself but shortly after Joel left, I ended up with a roommate for about an hour. Let's see, how do I put this nicely, um, well, okay fine...that was not a pleasant experience at all. My great nurses came to my bedside and kept mouthing that they were sorry. They also whispered to me and told her loudly that she would have her own room within an hour, it was just being cleaned. Now, I'm not sure what she had done but there was lots of sobbing, crying, moaning and when the nurses asked her what her pain scale was from 1 to 10 she shouted, "A 20! A 20! Now give me something!" As if that wasn't bad enough I then had to listen to her and her husband/boyfriend fight about whether or not she should be allowed to use her cell phone, all the crap that he had to go through to get there to be with her and that she should be thankful that he was there at all, who should or shouldn't be allowed to visit and then more people showed up. A friend, a mother (I think) and God knows who else and our rooms ARE NOT BIG. They finally moved her and about two minutes after that some other friend of hers comes running into the room loudly calling out the patients name. I stayed quiet, it wasn't me they were looking for, but she still ripped back my curtain and demanded to know who I was and where the hell was the patient? Seriously, she is lucky that I had just had surgery and that Joel wasn't there. Needless to say, my nurses came rushing in after she was all moved and could not apologize enough for the chaos and swore it wasn't usually that bad.
So why do I tell this little side story...because it put off my walking around. I wanted to walk a bit in my room first then the hallways. I mean, if I was going to get light headed or nauseous or even go down for that matter I wanted it to be in my room, not out in the throws of a busy hospital floor. Once they left, I got up, walked about my room a bit, rested some, then got up and headed out for the hallway. They wanted me doing laps around the floor before they gave me the okay to go home. I knew that my doctor would be back by 5pm so it was my lot in life at that time to walk. So walk I did...well okay, I sort of did this shuffle walk with a blanket wrapped around me in case my gown decided to open while holding a small pillow against my stomach for comfort. I'm sure it was a thing of beauty! Oh and don't forget the hospital issued, gun metal gray, non-slip socks. Be-yew-ti-ful! But despite my beauty, I walked and got my walking papers!
To be continued...
So after the anesthesia wore off Friday night my next goal was to get home. I had a checklist of requirements to meet and that was what I focused on all day Friday. Joel too for that matter, each time I got another requirement done he reminded me that another was checked off the list. The list included removal of packing put in place during surgery, removal of catheter, going to the bathroom on my own and emptying my bladder, eating a little bit and keeping it down, able to control the pain via pills (wean me off of the IV pain medication), able to keep fluids going into me (drinking lots of water, juice, etc. to wean me off of the IV fluids) and able to be up and walking.
When I came out of surgery, I had a bunch of vaginal packing and a catheter. Around lunchtime on Friday, my doctor came in, removed the packing then the nurses came in and removed the catheter. My doctor decided to do a back fill of my bladder then I had 15 minutes to use the restroom. She wanted 300 cc's in and 300 cc's out. That way she could be sure that I was emptying my bladder. I guess during surgery if the bladder is bumped at all it can show it's unhappiness about that by not emptying completely. As I'm sure you can figure out on your own, this is not a good thing and can quickly lead to infection. Before the catheter was completely removed the nurses back filled my bladder with a sterile saline solution but instead of the full 300, at the 200 mark I asked them to stop. I felt full and knew that I could go and did as soon as I could get up out of bed. Problem was, my bladder wasn't empty to begin with...they put in 200 and I put out 550! So they went with plan B, after my next trip to the bathroom they did a bladder scan (looked like a mini ultrasound machine) to check for any fluid and there was none! Woohoo! By this time I had already eaten some food, drank lots of fluid, had the IV removed so my only task left to do was get up and walk around.
Joel had to leave for a while to go home and get Noah off of the bus and off to his destination for the night. Plus the poor guy had to have been bored to no end sitting by my bed. I am sure it was nice to just get out for a while and grab a bite to eat or whatever. For almost my entire stay at the hospital I had a room to myself but shortly after Joel left, I ended up with a roommate for about an hour. Let's see, how do I put this nicely, um, well, okay fine...that was not a pleasant experience at all. My great nurses came to my bedside and kept mouthing that they were sorry. They also whispered to me and told her loudly that she would have her own room within an hour, it was just being cleaned. Now, I'm not sure what she had done but there was lots of sobbing, crying, moaning and when the nurses asked her what her pain scale was from 1 to 10 she shouted, "A 20! A 20! Now give me something!" As if that wasn't bad enough I then had to listen to her and her husband/boyfriend fight about whether or not she should be allowed to use her cell phone, all the crap that he had to go through to get there to be with her and that she should be thankful that he was there at all, who should or shouldn't be allowed to visit and then more people showed up. A friend, a mother (I think) and God knows who else and our rooms ARE NOT BIG. They finally moved her and about two minutes after that some other friend of hers comes running into the room loudly calling out the patients name. I stayed quiet, it wasn't me they were looking for, but she still ripped back my curtain and demanded to know who I was and where the hell was the patient? Seriously, she is lucky that I had just had surgery and that Joel wasn't there. Needless to say, my nurses came rushing in after she was all moved and could not apologize enough for the chaos and swore it wasn't usually that bad.
So why do I tell this little side story...because it put off my walking around. I wanted to walk a bit in my room first then the hallways. I mean, if I was going to get light headed or nauseous or even go down for that matter I wanted it to be in my room, not out in the throws of a busy hospital floor. Once they left, I got up, walked about my room a bit, rested some, then got up and headed out for the hallway. They wanted me doing laps around the floor before they gave me the okay to go home. I knew that my doctor would be back by 5pm so it was my lot in life at that time to walk. So walk I did...well okay, I sort of did this shuffle walk with a blanket wrapped around me in case my gown decided to open while holding a small pillow against my stomach for comfort. I'm sure it was a thing of beauty! Oh and don't forget the hospital issued, gun metal gray, non-slip socks. Be-yew-ti-ful! But despite my beauty, I walked and got my walking papers!
To be continued...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Surgery Recall Part 1
Note: I started this yesterday thinking I would add to it as the day went on. I find myself napping a lot though so I will break it up into parts...
While it's fresh in my mind I thought I would write a bit about the surgery and how things went. I got to come home last night (Friday) and was resting on my couch by 8pm. That was wonderful! Been resting and recovering since then quite nicely and will get back to that later.
Starting Wednesday morning I was on a restricted diet knowing that I had to start the bowel prep around noon. I pushed that back to around 1pm wanting to make a last minute trip to the grocery store and make sure that Noah got home from school okay. My doctor had warned me that it was going to be unpleasant, that I would hate her and probably want nothing to do with her come Thursday morning. Well, the bowel prep part of it wasn't pleasant by any means but the massive headache and severe nausea that I got about an hour after taking the liquid torture was far worse. Apparently some people can have this reaction but most don't - yeah! lucky me! I was supposed to keep drinking clear liquids until midnight Wednesday then nothing after that. I couldn't even do that, too much nausea. Any nervousness I had about the surgery was pretty much squelched by my desire to be knocked out and relieved of the migraine like headache and massive waves of nausea. We left here at 7am on Thursday, at the hospital by 730am and I was quickly checked in and led back to my pre-op station. I thought, more than once that my head was going to explode from the bright lights overhead. They tried to keep them off as much as possible but had to turn them on for things like putting in my IV fluids. Surgery started a little bit late but almost immediately upon being wheeled into the operating room the anesthesiologist gave me some happy drug and within minutes of that knocked me out. The next thing I knew, the nice gal, whose name I will never ever remember because they gave me some amnesia drug (oh yeah Janet, that was good!), was asking me if I wanted something for the pain. After prying my tongue and lips from my teeth...my goodness was my mouth dry, and begging for a wet swab, I said that if she could give me pain medication then I would take it - now. I remember her asking me on a scale of 1 to 10 where my pain level was and I remember answering 8 but I don't remember the pain. I'm thinking that the amnesia drug did it's stuff! I'm not sure how long I was there but remember them telling me that my surgery lasted a bit longer than expected and was told later by my doctor that my body had a tendency to ooze. They had to stop and mop up the ooze then continue with the surgery. Gross! She then told me that I would be in recovery for while then moved up to my room. I will have to ask Joel exactly when I got out of surgery and then moved from recovery to my room. I don't remember at all.
Note: Just asked Joel...he talked to the doctor at about 1:40, then he met me at my room at about 2:45. So I was in surgery about an hour longer than expected, then an hour in recovery.
I remember being wheeled to my room, wow that was quite a hike! The surgery took place in the new state of the art operating suites in the new Firstenburg Tower and my room was in a completely different wing of the hospital. It felt like the walk lasted forever. I also recall thinking at that time that my headache was gone but not the nausea. UGH! I had that same car sick feeling on the trip to my room as I do on those back winding roads when out driving. It turns out that I don't come out of the anesthesia quite as gracefully as others. I was sick to my stomach and nauseous until around 11pm that night. It wasn't until then that I was finally thinking that I probably won't need to beg for the anti-nausea medication anymore. However, I was still touch and go. At one point during the night the nurse wanted to move me to change the bedding and whatever other torture she wanted to inflict upon me and I'm sorry to report that I wasn't very nice. I at one point told her to let me lay back down or I was going to barf all over her. Nice huh?
They brought in a very simple breakfast on Friday, I can't remember all that was on the tray but mostly liquids with a small bowl of rice cereal. I drank the juice and tried a bite or two of the cereal...it was all I could stomach. Come lunch time I managed to get down the little bit of fruit and half of the bread roll and the juice...but the beef stew stuff was nasty and not going anywhere near my mouth. By the time dinner rolled around I was able to eat a bit more but am still on a limited diet...so some rice, some steamed veggies and a couple sips of coffee was all I had.
...to be continued
While it's fresh in my mind I thought I would write a bit about the surgery and how things went. I got to come home last night (Friday) and was resting on my couch by 8pm. That was wonderful! Been resting and recovering since then quite nicely and will get back to that later.
Starting Wednesday morning I was on a restricted diet knowing that I had to start the bowel prep around noon. I pushed that back to around 1pm wanting to make a last minute trip to the grocery store and make sure that Noah got home from school okay. My doctor had warned me that it was going to be unpleasant, that I would hate her and probably want nothing to do with her come Thursday morning. Well, the bowel prep part of it wasn't pleasant by any means but the massive headache and severe nausea that I got about an hour after taking the liquid torture was far worse. Apparently some people can have this reaction but most don't - yeah! lucky me! I was supposed to keep drinking clear liquids until midnight Wednesday then nothing after that. I couldn't even do that, too much nausea. Any nervousness I had about the surgery was pretty much squelched by my desire to be knocked out and relieved of the migraine like headache and massive waves of nausea. We left here at 7am on Thursday, at the hospital by 730am and I was quickly checked in and led back to my pre-op station. I thought, more than once that my head was going to explode from the bright lights overhead. They tried to keep them off as much as possible but had to turn them on for things like putting in my IV fluids. Surgery started a little bit late but almost immediately upon being wheeled into the operating room the anesthesiologist gave me some happy drug and within minutes of that knocked me out. The next thing I knew, the nice gal, whose name I will never ever remember because they gave me some amnesia drug (oh yeah Janet, that was good!), was asking me if I wanted something for the pain. After prying my tongue and lips from my teeth...my goodness was my mouth dry, and begging for a wet swab, I said that if she could give me pain medication then I would take it - now. I remember her asking me on a scale of 1 to 10 where my pain level was and I remember answering 8 but I don't remember the pain. I'm thinking that the amnesia drug did it's stuff! I'm not sure how long I was there but remember them telling me that my surgery lasted a bit longer than expected and was told later by my doctor that my body had a tendency to ooze. They had to stop and mop up the ooze then continue with the surgery. Gross! She then told me that I would be in recovery for while then moved up to my room. I will have to ask Joel exactly when I got out of surgery and then moved from recovery to my room. I don't remember at all.
Note: Just asked Joel...he talked to the doctor at about 1:40, then he met me at my room at about 2:45. So I was in surgery about an hour longer than expected, then an hour in recovery.
I remember being wheeled to my room, wow that was quite a hike! The surgery took place in the new state of the art operating suites in the new Firstenburg Tower and my room was in a completely different wing of the hospital. It felt like the walk lasted forever. I also recall thinking at that time that my headache was gone but not the nausea. UGH! I had that same car sick feeling on the trip to my room as I do on those back winding roads when out driving. It turns out that I don't come out of the anesthesia quite as gracefully as others. I was sick to my stomach and nauseous until around 11pm that night. It wasn't until then that I was finally thinking that I probably won't need to beg for the anti-nausea medication anymore. However, I was still touch and go. At one point during the night the nurse wanted to move me to change the bedding and whatever other torture she wanted to inflict upon me and I'm sorry to report that I wasn't very nice. I at one point told her to let me lay back down or I was going to barf all over her. Nice huh?
They brought in a very simple breakfast on Friday, I can't remember all that was on the tray but mostly liquids with a small bowl of rice cereal. I drank the juice and tried a bite or two of the cereal...it was all I could stomach. Come lunch time I managed to get down the little bit of fruit and half of the bread roll and the juice...but the beef stew stuff was nasty and not going anywhere near my mouth. By the time dinner rolled around I was able to eat a bit more but am still on a limited diet...so some rice, some steamed veggies and a couple sips of coffee was all I had.
...to be continued
Friday, March 13, 2009
Spring Cleaning
I hope you all don't mind me filling in for Tiffany today...this is just a quick post to let everyone know the surgery was a success. As a matter of fact, when Tiff's surgeon met with me after the surgery to let me know how things went, she mentioned that they "got the uterus out" which I thought was good, but odd to mention since that was kind of the point of the surgery in the first place. But I digress...Tiffany is doing great and well on her way to recovery. She should be coming home tonight (Friday) to an empty house for at least one night of uninterrupted convalescence.
-Joel
-Joel
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Won't Be Long Now
So for about 10 seconds last Friday I wondered if I was doing the right thing...seriously, within minutes I had break through bleeding. All day Saturday I was crampy and spotting then Sunday I spent half the day in bed trying to find a comfortable position to make the pain stop. Recovery will be a pain but the idea of never having to deal with this stuff again is uplifting! I have been commanded by a friend to, "Sit, Stay, and Heal!" upon my return home. I plan and promise to do just that. I'm currently resting now and am hoping for a good nights sleep. Check in is tomorrow at 7:30 with surgery starting at 9:30. They said it should take just under 3 hours. Joel will email family when I am out of recovery and in my room. I will post to the blog as soon as I can after returning home. If you would like a quick email from Joel too just send me your email address. I will check blog/emails one last time before leaving in the morning.
Thanks to everyone for their well wishes, good thoughts, speedy recovery wants and prayers. They mean a lot and they will all go with me in the morning.
Thanks to everyone for their well wishes, good thoughts, speedy recovery wants and prayers. They mean a lot and they will all go with me in the morning.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Pre-Op Appointments
I had two pre-op appointments this week. Yesterday was with the doctor that will be heading up the surgery (my doctor is assisting) and today was with the hospital admissions folks.
With the doctor yesterday we went over health history, any questions that I had, how the surgery will go, expected recovery and potential risks. Exactly what I expected.
Health History: Luckily, myself and my family are overall pretty healthy folks. Nothing major going on so the health history questionnaire went quickly.
Surgery: She said that the hospital staff, herself and anyone else that comes into contact with me next Thursday will ask me what they are doing in surgery. They do this to make sure that I get done what I am supposed to get done - no more, no less. They also want to make sure that I completely understand what's about to happen. She had me repeat at least 4 times what they will be doing. "Complete vaginal hysterectomy with removal of both ovaries, uterus and cervix. Vaginal wall prolapse repair using tendons from uterus that is being removed along with rectocele repair. All surgery will take place vaginally with the understanding that they will go in through the abdomen if needed to complete the surgery." The doctor also said that she wants me, because of the rectocele repair, to do a bowel prep. She apologized profusely and told me that cursing her and hating her is to be expected. I will be taking something that will clean me out completely from gut to butt. Ha! That rhymed.
Recovery: I will come out of surgery, go to recovery room, once I'm awake enough to be moved, I will be returned to my hospital room. I will spend one night, with vaginal packing and a catheter. The next morning the packing will be removed along with the catheter and as soon as I can urinate I can go home. Once home I am restricted to lifting no more than 10 pounds (a gallon of milk weighs 8 pounds), rest as much as I feel necessary, pain meds as I feel necessary and as many small walks as I can tolerate. No pulling or pushing. No driving while on narcotic pain medication (duh!) or two weeks post-op. They say that recovery really differs from person to person because no two surgeries/persons are the same. She then said no intercourse for 4-6 weeks, at this I laughed and in my best sarcastic voice said, "really? you mean I can't rush home and bang one out?" I KNOW they have to say things like that but it floors me that they HAVE to. 6-8 weeks for full recovery is expected then my body adjusting and getting my hormones that I will have to take figured out after that. I have a post-op appointment on the 30th of this month also.
Risks: There are always risks with any surgery or medical procedure. She did touch on a few other risks. Like she said, they will be down there with sharp instruments removing, moving and repairing.
****
Today's appointment was at the hospital (SW Washington). They ran through many of the same things that my doctor did but not before I repeated to them exactly what the surgery was going to entail. I didn't quite get it right the first time through (I hadn't had my coffee yet!) so she asked a couple of questions then made me say it again. I was starting to catch on to why my doctor had me practice saying it. They too did a health history questionnaire, I had to disclose any and all medications, vitamins, herbal supplements, over the counter medications like Tylenol or Advil and street drugs that I've been taking or have taken in the last month. She then went through how the day will go next Thursday and what we should expect. She checked all of my personal information and made notes that Joel will be there with me, etc. They then took a urine sample and blood sample to run a gamut of tests. One of the tests they run, and I understand why they do, is a pregnancy test. This made me chuckle and she explained that the doctor doesn't want any surprises. I said, yeah, yeah I completely understand but if I got pregnant while on YAZ and with my husband having a vasectomy then there are a lot of people with questions that will need to be answered. She laughed too. Anyway, today was basically ALL of the paperwork that needed to be done, that way on Thursday I just show up and I am ready to go.
Off to try and finish another post that I've been working on...hopefully will get it posted in the next 24-48 hours.
With the doctor yesterday we went over health history, any questions that I had, how the surgery will go, expected recovery and potential risks. Exactly what I expected.
Health History: Luckily, myself and my family are overall pretty healthy folks. Nothing major going on so the health history questionnaire went quickly.
Surgery: She said that the hospital staff, herself and anyone else that comes into contact with me next Thursday will ask me what they are doing in surgery. They do this to make sure that I get done what I am supposed to get done - no more, no less. They also want to make sure that I completely understand what's about to happen. She had me repeat at least 4 times what they will be doing. "Complete vaginal hysterectomy with removal of both ovaries, uterus and cervix. Vaginal wall prolapse repair using tendons from uterus that is being removed along with rectocele repair. All surgery will take place vaginally with the understanding that they will go in through the abdomen if needed to complete the surgery." The doctor also said that she wants me, because of the rectocele repair, to do a bowel prep. She apologized profusely and told me that cursing her and hating her is to be expected. I will be taking something that will clean me out completely from gut to butt. Ha! That rhymed.
Recovery: I will come out of surgery, go to recovery room, once I'm awake enough to be moved, I will be returned to my hospital room. I will spend one night, with vaginal packing and a catheter. The next morning the packing will be removed along with the catheter and as soon as I can urinate I can go home. Once home I am restricted to lifting no more than 10 pounds (a gallon of milk weighs 8 pounds), rest as much as I feel necessary, pain meds as I feel necessary and as many small walks as I can tolerate. No pulling or pushing. No driving while on narcotic pain medication (duh!) or two weeks post-op. They say that recovery really differs from person to person because no two surgeries/persons are the same. She then said no intercourse for 4-6 weeks, at this I laughed and in my best sarcastic voice said, "really? you mean I can't rush home and bang one out?" I KNOW they have to say things like that but it floors me that they HAVE to. 6-8 weeks for full recovery is expected then my body adjusting and getting my hormones that I will have to take figured out after that. I have a post-op appointment on the 30th of this month also.
Risks: There are always risks with any surgery or medical procedure. She did touch on a few other risks. Like she said, they will be down there with sharp instruments removing, moving and repairing.
****
Today's appointment was at the hospital (SW Washington). They ran through many of the same things that my doctor did but not before I repeated to them exactly what the surgery was going to entail. I didn't quite get it right the first time through (I hadn't had my coffee yet!) so she asked a couple of questions then made me say it again. I was starting to catch on to why my doctor had me practice saying it. They too did a health history questionnaire, I had to disclose any and all medications, vitamins, herbal supplements, over the counter medications like Tylenol or Advil and street drugs that I've been taking or have taken in the last month. She then went through how the day will go next Thursday and what we should expect. She checked all of my personal information and made notes that Joel will be there with me, etc. They then took a urine sample and blood sample to run a gamut of tests. One of the tests they run, and I understand why they do, is a pregnancy test. This made me chuckle and she explained that the doctor doesn't want any surprises. I said, yeah, yeah I completely understand but if I got pregnant while on YAZ and with my husband having a vasectomy then there are a lot of people with questions that will need to be answered. She laughed too. Anyway, today was basically ALL of the paperwork that needed to be done, that way on Thursday I just show up and I am ready to go.
Off to try and finish another post that I've been working on...hopefully will get it posted in the next 24-48 hours.
Monday, March 2, 2009
MUDdled
The boys...I'll talk about Noah first, then, hopefully Oliver in the next couple of days. I also have my pre-op appointment this Thursday.
Editor's note: Life was not like this all the time. We still had some great fun and some great times. There was just this underlying current that lingered about and made it's presence known. I don't want anyone thinking that what you are about to read was what went on all the time. However, thanks to an email that I just go, something that still should be shared.
This has been a tough one for me. I get an idea or start to type then I stop because I just don't want to think about the past couple of years. Not that I've done anything horrible but I haven't been myself and for that I feel guilty. They deserve their mommy, not some shadow of who she is or was.
Noah is a good kid. He is also a very smart kid that uses his brain to test me everyday. Most of it is asking me questions until I no longer have any clue how to answer them. I've learned just as much, if not more from looking up and answering his questions than I did in school. Other times he is just testing me to see just how much he can get away with before he is sent to his room or loses some of his allowance. However, along with that smart brain of his comes a slough of emotions. One of his EXCEL directors once explained it to me this way. Most people/kids will be presented with a task/problem/question/etc. and have one or two ideas or solutions, think of it as someone walking one or two dogs. Then there are people/kids like Noah that when presented with the same task/problem/question/etc. and their brain goes into overdrive and they will have 9, 10 or even more solutions/questions/ideas/etc...think of it as them walking 9, 10 or more dogs. The one or two dogs may try to pull you and get their way but you can still control them, rein them in so to speak and get them under control. Once you are up to 9, 10 or more dogs and they are pulling you in just as many directions it becomes much harder if not impossible for a someone, especially a child, to control. With the right tools, as Noah gets older, he will learn to control the pack of dogs and organize them into a well thought out solution. For now, however, he doesn't know what to do with all of that mumbo jumbo in his head and it often comes out in the form of frustrated tears.
I tell you the above because it was very difficult for me to understand and deal with those frustrated tears coming from my boy. Some days I would hide in the bathroom and cry because I had no idea how I was going to help him. The days that I was depressed and not feeling good about myself to begin with were really bad. When I feel this bad about myself how am I going to teach my kid to be confident in who he is and the way that his brain works? Other days I couldn't stand it, the days that I could feel my anger/irritation taking over were horrible. I just wanted to yell at him to stop with the stupid crying, how could someone so smart get so upset over something that seemed so damn trivial?!? I would feel guilty because I would wish on those days that he was never that smart. What a horrible thing to wish for your kid! I wanted him to just be one of those kids that would be happy with playing in the mud NOT the kid that wanted to know the origin of the mud, the makeup of the mud, where I thought the mud in our backyard came from, etc. For crying out loud, just play in the mud I don't know how much ash from the 1980 St. Helen's eruption is in our mud! The good thing is that I knew that what I was feeling/thinking was just not right, not me, not something that Noah needed to hear so I kept it to myself. I know that he could tell that I was sad or angry or irritated and I'm sure that his emotions fed off of mine. I am sure that he cried more trying to figure out what was up with me. (deep sigh)
So, knowing that I had a hard time controlling my emotions and dealing with Noah I really, in essence, believe that I pushed him away. I would know it was going to be a bad day so, if he wasn't at school, I would shove him outside to play with his friends a lot, take him to Blockbuster real quick in hopes that he would find a game or a video to keep him occupied for most of the day. I would buy him new Legos or books knowing that he would want to build or read and I could make excuses up so that I wouldn't have to help him. Distance between the two of us meant that I was much less likely to spend the day crying at my inability to help him or blow my top and say something that I would regret and hate myself for. Now, don't get me wrong, just like any parent he (and his brother) would just push and push and push and I would snap, send them to their room, toss out one of those stupid threats that no parent can follow through on like, "GO TO YOUR ROOM and you aren't coming out until you're 18!!" I am a parent after all.
Knowing that I couldn't deal with Noah and that I pushed him away like I did I silently turned on Joel. In my head I convinced myself that he should have picked up on all of this, that he should have sensed that I and Noah needed help. He is much like Noah after all...too smart for his own good. I needed him to step up to the plate and take control, to help encourage Noah, to untangle some of those leashes, etc. However, I never once said this out loud. Never once told him, therefore, never once gave him the opportunity to help me or Noah...not in a productive manner anyway. It is unrealistic of me to think, though, that Joel will never become frustrated with Noah. That because they are two peas in a pod that he should know exactly how to help Noah. Those two are so much alike personality wise that it's scary! Anyway, I knew or thought that I was no good to Noah so when Joel would snap at him or get frustrated with him I would, again all inside, turn into a very angry and protective mama bear! My brain would literally roar with anger, how dare he treat my baby that way! I would clench my jaw to the point of pain and see red...deep angry red. Again, knowing that this was not a good reaction or even a reasonable one I would walk away and not say a thing. I KNEW that what I was feeling was not right, not reasonable, not me but I couldn't stop it, couldn't control it. So not only was I distancing myself from Noah, I was distancing myself from Joel.
As said in the beginning of this post, Noah is a smart kid. Even if he didn't know what was going on with me he could feel it and sense it. I look back now and my heart literally hurts knowing that at times he cried, not because I wouldn't help him figure out the percentage of ash in our backyard mud but because I just wasn't there for him and he needed me.
Let me say again that this wasn't a quick overnight thing that happened. It got worse slowly, over time, so a part of me still felt that this was just who I was now. That it was normal married with kid stuff, that there was nothing wrong with me and nothing that could be done to change my life or how I felt about it. That over time, as our marriage matured and the boys got older things would change, right? Get better, right? I know differently now. I feel differently now.
Editor's note: Life was not like this all the time. We still had some great fun and some great times. There was just this underlying current that lingered about and made it's presence known. I don't want anyone thinking that what you are about to read was what went on all the time. However, thanks to an email that I just go, something that still should be shared.
This has been a tough one for me. I get an idea or start to type then I stop because I just don't want to think about the past couple of years. Not that I've done anything horrible but I haven't been myself and for that I feel guilty. They deserve their mommy, not some shadow of who she is or was.
Noah is a good kid. He is also a very smart kid that uses his brain to test me everyday. Most of it is asking me questions until I no longer have any clue how to answer them. I've learned just as much, if not more from looking up and answering his questions than I did in school. Other times he is just testing me to see just how much he can get away with before he is sent to his room or loses some of his allowance. However, along with that smart brain of his comes a slough of emotions. One of his EXCEL directors once explained it to me this way. Most people/kids will be presented with a task/problem/question/etc. and have one or two ideas or solutions, think of it as someone walking one or two dogs. Then there are people/kids like Noah that when presented with the same task/problem/question/etc. and their brain goes into overdrive and they will have 9, 10 or even more solutions/questions/ideas/etc...think of it as them walking 9, 10 or more dogs. The one or two dogs may try to pull you and get their way but you can still control them, rein them in so to speak and get them under control. Once you are up to 9, 10 or more dogs and they are pulling you in just as many directions it becomes much harder if not impossible for a someone, especially a child, to control. With the right tools, as Noah gets older, he will learn to control the pack of dogs and organize them into a well thought out solution. For now, however, he doesn't know what to do with all of that mumbo jumbo in his head and it often comes out in the form of frustrated tears.
I tell you the above because it was very difficult for me to understand and deal with those frustrated tears coming from my boy. Some days I would hide in the bathroom and cry because I had no idea how I was going to help him. The days that I was depressed and not feeling good about myself to begin with were really bad. When I feel this bad about myself how am I going to teach my kid to be confident in who he is and the way that his brain works? Other days I couldn't stand it, the days that I could feel my anger/irritation taking over were horrible. I just wanted to yell at him to stop with the stupid crying, how could someone so smart get so upset over something that seemed so damn trivial?!? I would feel guilty because I would wish on those days that he was never that smart. What a horrible thing to wish for your kid! I wanted him to just be one of those kids that would be happy with playing in the mud NOT the kid that wanted to know the origin of the mud, the makeup of the mud, where I thought the mud in our backyard came from, etc. For crying out loud, just play in the mud I don't know how much ash from the 1980 St. Helen's eruption is in our mud! The good thing is that I knew that what I was feeling/thinking was just not right, not me, not something that Noah needed to hear so I kept it to myself. I know that he could tell that I was sad or angry or irritated and I'm sure that his emotions fed off of mine. I am sure that he cried more trying to figure out what was up with me. (deep sigh)
So, knowing that I had a hard time controlling my emotions and dealing with Noah I really, in essence, believe that I pushed him away. I would know it was going to be a bad day so, if he wasn't at school, I would shove him outside to play with his friends a lot, take him to Blockbuster real quick in hopes that he would find a game or a video to keep him occupied for most of the day. I would buy him new Legos or books knowing that he would want to build or read and I could make excuses up so that I wouldn't have to help him. Distance between the two of us meant that I was much less likely to spend the day crying at my inability to help him or blow my top and say something that I would regret and hate myself for. Now, don't get me wrong, just like any parent he (and his brother) would just push and push and push and I would snap, send them to their room, toss out one of those stupid threats that no parent can follow through on like, "GO TO YOUR ROOM and you aren't coming out until you're 18!!" I am a parent after all.
Knowing that I couldn't deal with Noah and that I pushed him away like I did I silently turned on Joel. In my head I convinced myself that he should have picked up on all of this, that he should have sensed that I and Noah needed help. He is much like Noah after all...too smart for his own good. I needed him to step up to the plate and take control, to help encourage Noah, to untangle some of those leashes, etc. However, I never once said this out loud. Never once told him, therefore, never once gave him the opportunity to help me or Noah...not in a productive manner anyway. It is unrealistic of me to think, though, that Joel will never become frustrated with Noah. That because they are two peas in a pod that he should know exactly how to help Noah. Those two are so much alike personality wise that it's scary! Anyway, I knew or thought that I was no good to Noah so when Joel would snap at him or get frustrated with him I would, again all inside, turn into a very angry and protective mama bear! My brain would literally roar with anger, how dare he treat my baby that way! I would clench my jaw to the point of pain and see red...deep angry red. Again, knowing that this was not a good reaction or even a reasonable one I would walk away and not say a thing. I KNEW that what I was feeling was not right, not reasonable, not me but I couldn't stop it, couldn't control it. So not only was I distancing myself from Noah, I was distancing myself from Joel.
As said in the beginning of this post, Noah is a smart kid. Even if he didn't know what was going on with me he could feel it and sense it. I look back now and my heart literally hurts knowing that at times he cried, not because I wouldn't help him figure out the percentage of ash in our backyard mud but because I just wasn't there for him and he needed me.
Let me say again that this wasn't a quick overnight thing that happened. It got worse slowly, over time, so a part of me still felt that this was just who I was now. That it was normal married with kid stuff, that there was nothing wrong with me and nothing that could be done to change my life or how I felt about it. That over time, as our marriage matured and the boys got older things would change, right? Get better, right? I know differently now. I feel differently now.
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